Kata-kata boleh menjadi sangat murah dan diam boleh membawa seribu satu makna.
Sudah cukup rasanya kesusahan yang menimpa aku di bumi. Ia harus pergi. Aku sesungguhnya layak untuk kehidupan yang baru.. tenang, suci dan hakiki. Tidak akan pernah wujud kekecewaan, tidak akan pernah ada kesedihan.


p/s: thank you for letting me go. mungkin kali ini, saya tidak akan dapat terima awak kembali. saya pernah hidup dalam ketakutan. kini, masih saya begitu. takut untuk semuanya yang ada. yang bakal tiba. saya amat takut dengan awak.

i lost my freaking handphone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *pulls hair*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

haiz... innalillah.

had silat performance yesterday at fajar in the afternoon.. then straight to ain bro's wedding.. reach home around 6.30pm.. rested for 1 hour.. then off to cairnhill training .. i was so shagged.. i could barely lift my eyes.. and my head was throbbing.. but for the sake of learning pukulan, i dragged myself there.. i'd already missed last week's training.. so i can't afford to lose out this week's either..

reached cairnhill around 8.40pm.. damn late lah.. abg fili was the first to greet me.. he asked why my face today so "layu".. i just smiled and "hormat" him.. too tired to even answer him.. sorry bro.. then i looked around at all the other pesilat faces who went for the performance in the afternoon.. they were all shagged too.. and to make things worse, the room was unusually HUMID that night.. i felt like i was in a sauna.. basah satu baju.. haiyo.

but the training was worth every single drop of sweat lah.. despite all the uncomfortable situations, i did learned alot.. thank you, abg ramli and abg fili, for the knowledge that you've imparted on us..

----------

hmm... he was quiet yesterday.. didnt even msg.. let alone call.. busy with work i guess.. and thanks, for screaming at me when i called.. i just wanted to say i miss you. that's all. *sigh*

i just got to know you're already out with your fishing budies today.. have fun and take care of yourself k. i love you..

Don't Matter

Nivea, Akon
Hey hey hey
Nivea, Akon
Hey hey hey

When I say I love sometimes those words don't explain
So much you do for me
Can't picture a day without your face
I'm always seein a kodak moment when you're next to me
Sometimes boy I can't breathe
Boy swear you'll never leave

My love will never change
It will always be this way
We'll always be the same
And they can't take that away
We can run away
Our love will lead the way
So we'll just let them hate
Cause they can't stop us babe

[Chorus]
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe

Cause we gon' fight
Oh yes we gon' fight
Believe we gon' fight
Fight for our right to love yeah
Nobody wanna see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe

I told my mother that I'd be loving you til the end
And if I had to start over, I'd do it all again
And it doesn't matter what anyone has to say
Cause in you I can depend, boy you are my best friend

My love will never change
It will always be this way
We'll always be the same
And they can't take that away
We can run away
Our love will lead the way
So we'll just let them hate
Cause they can't stop us babe

[Chorus]

Babe, babe, babe, babe, hey
Nobody, nobody, nobody
THey don't wanna see us
Nobody, nobody, nobody

[Chorus]


~ Nobody wanna see us together but it don't matter, no. Cause I got you babe. ~

haiz.. i'd spent my entire day jus waiting.. and waiting.. and waiting for him.

its almost 1am, and i'm still waiting. hmm, i think i'm going crazy.

i hope tomorrow will be a better day. *sigh*

After a while I learn
The subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul

And I learn
That love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't always mean security

And I begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises

And I begin to accept my defeats
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child

And I learn
To build all my roads on today
'Cause tomorrow's ground's too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight

After a while I learn
That even sunshine burns, if I get too much of it
So I plant your own garden
And decorate my own soul
Instead of waiting for someone to bring me flowers

And I learn that I really can endure
I really am strong
I really do have worth
And I learn
And I learn

With every goodbye, I learn.

boy said something.
gal was hurt.
boy was aware he had hurt gal.
boy apologised.
gal was still hurt.
boy gave up and left gal alone.
gal was even hurt.
gal cried.
boy couldnt care less and wanted to sleep.
boy ate sleeping pills.
gal(still crying) called guy.
gal just wanna to talk to boy and let boy know how much he had hurt gal.
but boy just wanna sleep.
gal put the phone down and wipe her tears.
gal gave up on boy. totally.


"Wanna please,wanna keep,wanna treat your
woman right?
Not just dough,better show, that you know she's
worth your time
You will lose, if you choose, to refuse to put her first
She can and she will find a man who knows her worth."

- Alicia Keys, A Woman's Worth.

bila aku mengimbas kembali wadah dan petah percakapan yang tertera di blognya, aku rasa amat kecewa.. seumpama tidak ada perkara atau orang lain yang ingin dibusuk-busukan.. tak habis-habis.

secara peribadi, aku tidak tahu reaksi apa yang harus kuberi. aku berdiam saja, seperti biasa. namun hati ini amat marah.

Kepada yang punya diri,
mereka yang kau kutuk itu, kuanggap seperti keluargaku sendiri. oleh itu, aku turut marah. sememangnya lidah dan kata-kata lebih tajam dari pisau. tapi kau, sememangnya kurang ajar.




---------



on a lighter note,

arrrrghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!it's our 2 years anniversary!!!!! hooorrraayyy!!!!! i shall post a proper entry tmr.. need to sleep now.. ciaoz! take care everyone..

i cried and i cried.. u still pushed me.. till i couldnt take it anymore.

i said the word idiot. it wasnt meant for you. it was for me.

i'm the idiot who still let you hurt me.

------------------

Dear me,

i thought you were stronger this time. but i was wrong huh.

just cry yourself to sleep.. go on.. it'll feel alot better. trust me.

tmr you'll wake up to a brighter day. if it still hurts, just pretend you're happy.

Whatever happens, remember, i love you. Allah loves you.

Love,
Diana Nursita aka me.

yeessssahhhhh!!!!! PSK IS OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! berakhirlah segala beban yang dipikul selama 2 bulan.. lepas ivp, terus psk.. dari class B, kene naik class C dlm masa seminggu.. makan sampai muntah2/berak2.. togok air sampai perut kembong.. (tu pun weight pun masih tak cukop!).. kaki kanan dari lebam terus bengkak macam ikan buntal.. lawan opponent sumer tinggi2, kaki panjang2 dan berat2 nak mampus.. hahah.. but the whole experience was worth it lah.. =) kk bout my finals with farah.. jeng jeng jeng..

i LOST. duhh!! farah kaki jantan.. hahah.. she's damn good.. ever since she defeated someone in PSP, she became one of the few people that i look up to.. so when i had the chance to fight her, it was indeed an honour.. cheh! mcm paham jek eh.. hahah.. to farah, all the best for SIJORI aite sis.. till we meet again. =)


the number 2.. my lucky number. hahah..


seligi tunggal angkatan's dewasa girls.. i love them..


me and bros.. muka buruk seh.. hahah..
went to PS with love yesterday to catch Transformers.. one word to describe that movie: AWESOME. the effects ad everything.. fuhyoo power! terkenang balik zaman transformers kiter dulu.. hahah.. jauh berbeza seh.. technology changes everything. errm k whatever. we had our dinner at pizza hut after that.. then went shopping.. bought matching shirts and jeans for our big day next week.. oh i can't wait!! heheh..

mom was discharged today after zohor.. she's healing well alhamdulillah.. thank you everyone.. for all the wishes, thoughts and prayers, flowers, fruits, cards, $$ and biscuits (satu bulan pun tak habis).. thank you all once again.

now that mom's ok, i can finally rest and get some sleep.. till then, take care everyone.
---------
Ya Allah.. jika ujian ini adalah untuk menguji keimananku, berikanlah aku kekuatan dan ketaqwaan.. jika ujian ini adalah untuk kafarah dosa-dosaku, kurniakanlah aku kesabaran dan keredhaan.. untuk hari ini, hari esok dan hari-hari yang seterusnya.. Amin amin.. Ya Rabbal A'lamin.


[ Ku sujud di hening malam yang sepi.. sesepi jiwaku. Ku bermohon dan menangis di pangkuanMu Ya Allah. ]

Alhamdulillah i won my match. but i did not perform up to everyone's expectations. yes i agree, it was definitely a disappointing win. and to add salt to my wound, my morale hit rock bottom afterwards.

i went home feeling like shit yesterday. went straight to my room and called him immediately.. as we talked, i let the tears flow. he patiently listened.. without questioning why, he already knew the reason. i let it all out.

then slowly and subtly he comfort me with his words of encouragement.. eventually the tears began to dry up and not only was i back to my normal self, i felt even more motivated. he believes in me and made me believe in myself. thank you .. that was all that i needed to hear. i promise i'll do my best in the finals. insyaallah. and yes, i'll have fun too! =)


My words were not spoken but you already knew what was on my mind.
The tears spilled from my eyes and you didn't question why.
You wrapped your arms around me and I burried my face in your shirt.
You knew why I was so upset.. I didn't have to say a word.

ok here's something that i wanna share with you peeps.. look at the dates below..

14/07/2005 - the day we got attached.
16/09/1985 - my birthday.
18/11/1983 - his birthday.
01/07/2007 - yesterday. (the day we discovered this)
14/07/2007 - our 2 year's anniversary.

now check this out..

1. i'm 2 years younger than him.

2. you add 2 to our "attachment" day(14) and month(07), and you'll get my birth day and month. (14+2=16 , 07+2=09).

3. you can also add 2 to my birth day and month and you'll get his birth day and month! (16+2=18, 09+2=11).

4. that's not all! we discovered this coincidence thingy yesterday (01/07/2007), which is EXACTLY 2 weeks before our 2 years anniversary!!

hahah!! strange eh? i can't believe it myself.. both of us got so excited when we realized the links between the dates.. maybe it's a sign.. that we're indeed meant for each other.. i know you wanna puke lah people.. haha i don't give a damn! it's proven now.. our lucky number is 2!