The thing about love is I never saw it comin'
You kinda crept up and took me by surprise
And now there's a voice inside my heart that's got me wonderin'
Is this true, I wanna hear it one more time

Move in a little closer
Take it to a whisper
Get just a little louder

Say it again for me
Cuz I love the way it feels when you are
Tellin me that I'm
The only one who blows your mind
Say it again for me
It's like the whole world stops to listen
When you tell me you're in love
Say It Again

The thing about you
Is you know just how to get me
You talk about us like there's no end in sight
The thing about me is that I really wanna let you
Open that door
And walk into my life

Move in a little closer
Take it to a whisper
Just a little louder

Say it again for me
Cuz I love the way it feels
When you are
Tellin' me that i'm
The only one who blows your mind
Say it again for me
It's like the whole world stops to listen
When you tell me you're in love

And it feels like
It's the first time
That anybody's ever brought the sun without the rain
And never
In my whole life
Have I heard words as beautiful as when you say my name

Say It again for me
Cuz I love the way it feels
When you are tellin' me that I'm
The only one who blows your mind
Say It again for me
It's like the whole world stops to listen
When you tell me you're in love

Say it again
Say it again
Say it again

When you tell me you're in love
Say it again

it was 7pm.. they were waiting for me in his car.. i didnt know that his mom was there too.. i was still caught up in a meeting even though it's way beyond my working hours.. he called.. i did not answer cos i left my hp at my workstation.. he called again.. and again.. at 7.15 pm my meeting ended.. i rushed to my workstation.. and saw my hp vibrating..

i rushed down as quickly as i could..i knew i had disappoint him.. and most probably his mom too.. i opened the car door.. and greeted them.. followed by an apology for my lateness.. he asked why i was late.. i answered softly.. he didnt say a word, let alone look at me.. we drove off..

i kept mum throughout the entire journey.. i kept looking out of the backseat window.. obviously very disappointed.. at myself. i didnt know how to even start a conversation at that point of time.. and.. they were silent too.. hmm, maybe they're still mad at me, i thought to myself.

7.40pm.. we stopped at a traffic junction.. coincidentally it was somewhere near the point where he proposed to me.. he turned around suddenly.. and looked at me.. then he reached out his hand.. and gently held mine.. followed by the sweetest smile ever.. *sigh* how that melt my heart instantly.. i dont know if he noticed that i was tearing up a bit.. i was so touch by the fact that he could cool down that easily and even tried to cheer me up.. now if that ain't love, i don't know what is.

Gosh.. im falling even more in love with him with each passing day.. he never fails to amaze me.. time and time again..

thank you dear, for restoring far more than what i've lost before.. and in you.. i've found so much more that can't be found anywhere else in the world. i love you mirza..

If I were a boy..

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I'd roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it.
Cause they'd stick up for me.

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man.
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I could turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they'd think that I was sleepin' alone
I'd put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she'd be faithful
Waitin' for me to come home

It's a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you're just a boy
You don't understand
Yeah you don't understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you're just a boy

~ you don't know how much this song means to me.. ~

i have learned through recent events that the key to my own happiness lies within me.. many people are going through life in quiet desperation.. you know, like suffering in silence kinda thing, blablabla.. or at least that's what they thought they are in..

most often our subconscious mind does not know the difference between what's real and what's imagined.. take for example, myself. i tend to get jealous when my bf makes new frens with someone of the opposite gender.. i would bombard my brain with all the negative and judgemental thoughts of what could or would happened.. i would let my mind drift into this paranoid world which i had created out of my own insecurities.. sounds stupid rite? yup, i confess, this is something that i really need to work on.

one of my erroneous beliefs is that if i could make him behave the way i thought he ought to, then i would be happy. well, i know now, such beliefs is futile. it's never gonna happen. the world will never function the way i want it to.

i realized that my happiness does not depend on anything that the world places before me.. rather, it depends on how i interpret them. i guess the best thing to do would be to release all the negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones..

we are responsible for the creation of our own happiness or unhappiness. question is, which one would we choose? Hmmm..

***************
Everything will be alright, yeah

The heart is stronger than you think
Like it can go through anything
And even when you think it can't it finds a way to still push on, though

Sometime you want to run away
Ain't got the patience for the pain
And if you don't believe it look into your heart, the beat goes on

I'm telling you
Things get better through whatever
If you fall, dust it off, don't let up
Don't you know you can go, be your own miracle, you need to know

If the mind keeps thinking you've had enough
But the heart keeps telling you don't give up
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what, don't give up
Through it all, just stand up

It's like we all have better days
Problems getting all up in your face
Just because you go through it
Don't mean it gotta take control, no

You ain't gotta find no hiding place
Because the heart can beat the hate
Don't wanna let your mind keep playing you
And saying you can't go on

I'm telling you,
Things get better through whatever
If you fall, dust if off, don't let up
Don't you know you can go, be your own miracle, you need to know

If the mind keeps thinking you've had enough
But the heart keeps telling you don't give up
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what, don't give up
Through it all, just stand up
Through it all, just stand up

You don't gotta be a prisoner in your mind
If you fall, dust it off, you can live your life
Let your heart be your guide, oh
You will know that you're good if you trust the in good
Everything will be alright, yeah
Light up the dark, if you follow your heart
And It will get better through whatever

If the mind keeps thinking you've had enough
But the heart keeps telling you don't give up
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what, don't give up
Through it all, just stand up

You got it in you, find it within
You got in ya, find it within ya
You got in you, find it within
You got in you, find it within ya
You got in you, find it within
You got in you, find it within ya
Find it within you, find it within
Through it all, just stand up



~ will i dream of you tonite? ~

some things will never change.. i guess nothing surprises me anymore. haha. *sigh*

"oh ok... so wen u wanna meet again...?"
i dont know what to believe anymore. dont hurt me pls. i love you.

Adakah ini ujian dariMu sekali lagi untuk diriku, Ya Allah? Atau ia suatu petunjuk buat diriku?

******************

ok2.. enough of the emo sh*t. i'm pathetic i know.. hahahaha..

anywayy, im enrolling to pergas soon.. anybody wanna join the next intake with me? the more the merrier.. jus sms me yah.. details are as shown below:

Lesson on - Every Sunday, 9.30am - 1pm.. (class starts on 11 Jan 2009)
Venue - Madrasah Aljunied.. (can lepak at bugis after class! woohoo!)
Fees - Admin: $60 , Per semester: $300

Closing date: 28 Dec 2008 for registration

For more infomation, refer to this link: http://www.ipipergas.com/spi_page.htm#Atas

To nizam, i know you're reading this.. Yes, im finally joining lah.. haha.. cya bro!

wah.. you wanna know something???

i've gained 6 kg within 3 months lah dey!!! WTF!!! no wonder i cannot fit into most of my pants anymore.. my butt is as big as JLO's, only sexier lah of course.. hahah.. oh, and my face.. my once defined face.. now it's as round as my hamster's!!! haiz.. this is bad sia.. i really need to resume my gym training soon.. i've been taking a break for waaaay too long.. and i'm still contemplating whether to fight in next year's PSK.. a part of me says YES.. while the other says NO.. and the extra babat now is making me even more prone to choose the latter.. and NOOOO, it's not that my bf's not letting me fight or wat.. in fact, he's been supporting me in everything that i wanna do.. it's just that.. neah, nvm.. some things are better left unsaid, yah. =)

anyway.. in case you're wondering.. we're doing just fine. i love my Mr Boyan..



~ Dirimu.. kaya dengan senyuman mesra.. senyuman seindah suria.. yang membawa cahaya.. dalam hidupku. ~